This photo inspired us to make a
much more accurate list of “uplifting sayings”. Is this picture a
joke???!!! (either way, it’s crap)
I think these are MUCH better.
- Put the knives down and go get the box of cookies.
- Warn spouse before opening.
- Sorry, I don’t vibrate.
- I’ll be your vagina’s only friend this week.
- Step away from the flamethrower…
- It’s shark week, muthaf*ckas!
- Give your best effort not to bitch slap anyone this week.
- Remember, prison isn’t worth it.
- Soak me in vodka first, and this week will be bliss.
- Go with the flow.
- Try not to kill anyone today.
- Time to separate the men from the boys.
- Count to 10 before you do anything rash… ok, make it 50.
- Hey, it beats menopause!
- This applicator is biodegradable. You may be losing your mind, but you’re also saving the planet!
- I can also be used on your spouse’s gun shot wounds.
- I’m a little hostess gift from Aunt Flo.
- I’ll only soak up your unneeded uterine lining… unlike your family who soaks up your hopes and dreams.
- If you really want to cheer up, you’re going to need Xanax.
- At least you’re not pregnant.